Self-care is having a moment. According to one study, 97% of Americans believe it’s important to make time to care for themselves. That’s good, because more than half of those survey respondents felt burnt out in 2023.

 

When I’m having a really crappy day, I turn to YouTube and pull up a video of the outtakes from a sketch of John Oliver and Cookie Monster delivering the news. Or one of a flash mob performing a version of “Do Re Mi” at Central Station in Antwerp. Or one of the other 200 videos saved to my “Rainy Day” playlist. If the situation is dire, I camp out on my couch for a marathon of White Christmas, Noises Off, and Joe vs. the Volcano. And if I need the nuclear option, I hop in my car, brave the traffic on I-5, and make my way to the coast. There, I put my feet in the cold sand, breathe in the scent of the Pacific Ocean, and stand in awe of Haystack Rock, which never fails to remind me that I am but a speck of dust in the grand scheme of things.

If you would ask me what I do in terms of self-care, these are the things I would tell you. But I would be a very poor example.

You see, my modes of self-care are all reactionary. Notice how I started off with “When I’m having a really crappy day…” Not “To keep myself healthy…” or “To make sure I can show up as my best self for my team…”

Like me, so many people see self-care as the spa treatments, personal indulgences, and compulsive compensations that make up for the all-too-common ways we overextend ourselves. I’ve worked overtime every day for a week, so I’m getting a massage on Saturday. I’ve been so busy doing laundry and packing lunches and carting kids from one activity to another, and I need a break. I’m spending the weekend at a hotel with a pool and no cell service.

But is this really the best way to care for ourselves?

Defining Self-Care

Self-care is simply care—the care we often instinctively show others but deny ourselves. It’s checking in to see how you’re doing, making sure you’re getting enough rest, and offering yourself some compassion in the midst of a challenging time.

When done in a healthy way, self-care isn’t the reactive indulgence of the overworked and under-resourced. It’s not a quick reprieve or a temporary fix. Self-care is the proactive prioritization of intentional acts that ensure long-term well-being.

What Self-Care Might Look Like:

• • Getting enough sleep, whether you need five hours or nine
  • Using food as fuel
  • Moving around enough to keep your muscles limber and your blood flowing
  • Practicing gratitude
  • Saying “no” when needed
  • Spending time with friends and loved ones
  • Engaging in hobbies outside of work
  • Creating a meditation or mindfulness practice

Self-Care for Leaders

Self-care may look a little different in your role as a leader than it does in the rest of your life. In life, you may turn to true-crime podcasts and Mexican food, whereas in leadership, you may look to setting healthy boundaries and realistic expectations. That crunchy chicken taco may be delicious, but it’s not going to inspire confidence from your team unless you share. And even then, the inspiration won’t last very long.

For leaders, self-care is an investment in productivity, longevity, and effectiveness. It allows you to model the behavior you want from your team—i.e., healthy ways to cope with stress, increased emotional intelligence, and a high value placed on personal health and well-being. In short, your investment in self-care gives those in your sphere of influence permission to take care of themselves.

When you improve how you lead yourself, you’ll improve your ability to lead others. Self-care leads to self-compassion, which enables every leader to excel without the need to be perfect.

What Self-Care for Leaders Might Look Like:

• • Creating a workspace—at home, in the office, or on the road—that energizes you
  • Establishing daily routines to help you set the right mindset
  • Taking breaks
  • Finding a change of scenery
  • Delegating tasks that don’t require your direct involvement
  • Setting healthy boundaries

Self-Care Is Primary Care

It may be having a moment, but self-care is anything but a fleeting trend. For leaders, it’s a strategic advantage.

Once assumed by many, like me, to be merely an acceptable reaction to overwhelm, illness, or crisis, self-care is primary care in that it ought to come first. When we are proactive in practicing self-care, we can build capacity, increase productivity, and create happier, more fulfilled, and healthier lives.

In the corner of my spare room, under the window and next to a small metal craft cart that holds Christmas wrapping paper and extra gift tags, stands a white goose on a small patch of green grass—a treasured, if somewhat ridiculous, gift I received more than 20 years ago. One which I happily carted across the country when I moved from Ohio to Washington state, and which has repeatedly escaped weekends of spring cleaning and boxes earmarked for donation.

First popular in the Midwest in the 1980s, the “porch goose” is a cement lawn ornament that saw a resurgence in the late ’90s and early aughts and is currently enjoying newfound popularity, thanks to TikTok.

I got mine not at an outdoor nursery or from the lawn care section of a hardware store, but backstage of the small theater of Our Lady of the Elms High School. I was directing three students in a one-act play called The Wild Goose, and my cast and crew presented me with the play’s namesake decorative waterfowl moments before curtain on opening night. They each signed the base and lured me backstage with a panicked (and, frankly, well-acted) ruse about one of my actresses injuring herself and being unable to go on.

It was silly and sweet. And it took me completely by surprise. I was utterly delighted, just as they knew I would be. In other words, it was the best possible way they could say “thank you.”

Being Grateful Is Good for Business

In addition to being a sign of good manners and general human decency, showing appreciation is an effective and useful business tactic. In a recent survey of 800 full-time U.S. employees by software firm Nectar, nearly 84% said that recognition affects their motivation to succeed at work. Similarly, Great Place To Work found, when analyzing more than a million employee survey responses, that workers tied recognition to several aspects of positive company culture, such as employees’ increased likelihood to drive innovation and bring new ideas forward and to believe that workplace promotions are fair.

What great leaders understand about recognition and appreciation is that it’s most effective when it’s specific. For some, that may mean a personal shoutout in the company’s Teams chat; for others, it’s a handwritten note or a cup of coffee and conversation. For others still, it’s a goofy keepsake with a good story. The point is that it’s personal, and the best way to make it personal is to know your people.

Make Your Appreciation Personal

We recently polled our nearly 150,000 LinkedIn followers on the most effective way to show your team your appreciation. Forty-three percent of respondents said public displays of recognition are the way to go; 30% voted for a pay increase or bonus; and 22% said a thank-you gift is the most effective way to make a colleague feel appreciated.

In the comments, consensus was clear: These may be solid options, but the best course of action is to make the effort to meet your people where they are. “It depends on how each team member is intrinsically motivated,” said Gina Lavery, MSOD. Sue Mann agreed. “Know your colleague well enough to know what is most meaningful to them,” Mann commented. “It’s about them, after all, not you.”

More of what our followers had to say:

“Recognition in both public and private, and also a heartfelt conversation that encourages them to think about their personal development.”
—Geetika Agarwal, PCC in training (ICF)

“Don’t wait, do it now!”
—Roberto Giannicola

“Definitely a personal appreciation of their strengths and attitude and the difference that they make… that they may not have realized.”
—Connie Howe

“It depends, different individuals have different needs at different times, so leaders have to know their people and think every time about what kind of appreciation works best this particular time with this concrete individual. One size fits all doesn’t work.”
—Antti Viljaste

“It’s like the five languages of love. You have to love someone with their love language, not yours. It’s the same with business. You have to show appreciation the way a person wants and needs to be appreciated.”
—Miriam Wexler

Small Gestures, Big Impact

Beyond being a feel-good practice, recognition is a strategic imperative for organizations trying to cultivate a culture of excellence and engagement. While formal recognition programs and traditional methods of celebrating achievement will always have a home in the workplace, the personal touch truly makes a difference. When you demonstrate as a leader that you know your people well enough to know how to thank them, they won’t just feel appreciated; they’ll feel seen.

Through our work with more than 26,000 teams from around the world, we’ve identified five significant factors that determine a team’s effectiveness. With help from the workplace proximity associates of the Pawnee Department of Parks and Recreation, we dig into the important role of a team’s psychological safety and cohesion.

 

 

I may not have read as many historical biographies as Leslie Knope; I may not have her passion for waffles or find Joe Biden as sexy as she does. But I have never identified more with a fictional character than when she talks about her prowess as a gift-giver. “Giving Christmas gifts is like a sport to me,” she says. “Finding or making the perfect something… It’s also like a sport to me because I always win.”

The insight comes at the end of the episode “Citizen Knope,” a holiday entry that sees Leslie on a two-week suspension from work and advised to quit her run for city council by her big-city campaign managers. She’s at a personal low, but true to her glass-half-full disposition, Leslie still manages to give all her co-workers and friends extremely thoughtful and personal gifts, including a leopard-print robe with pink feather cuffs and “You Can Get It” on the back in rhinestones for Donna and motorized office doors that close at the click of a button for Ron.

Leslie’s professional game may be suffering, but she is clearly winning at Christmas gift-giving.

It’s especially satisfying, then, when the team comes together to lift Leslie’s spirits and demonstrate what she means to them with a thoughtful gift of their own. Led by beautiful tropical fish Ann Perkins, the group builds Leslie a miniature replica of City Hall made of gingerbread. But that’s not all. After hearing that her campaign managers dropped her, the team rallies to give her a truly unexpected gift: volunteering to be her new campaign crew.

I’ve watched this episode (and, indeed, the whole of Parks and Recreation) approximately 900 times, and every time Leslie responds to their gesture with tears in her eyes and a hitch in her voice, saying, “I don’t know what to say, except… Let’s go win an election!” I get choked up right along with her. Why? Aside from being a saphead for wholesome Christmas storylines, I tear up because it’s a scene in which Leslie’s co-workers and friends come together to support her in the pursuit of her dreams. Even though we, in the audience, know that they are ill-equipped to do this and greatly anticipate the hilarious mishaps that will arise, in that moment, Leslie is safe to spread her wings, and that’s a feeling we all hope to experience.

Teams Work When They Work Together

The most effective teams create an environment where members feel safe to take personal risks and actively support one another. This is what’s happening when, as each member of the team outlines their new role in Leslie’s campaign, Donna offers rides in her Benz to special events, April offers to lead youth outreach and new media, and Ron simply offers, “Any other damn thing you might need.”

For teams to be productive and effective, members don’t need to be protected or shielded from the potential pain or discomfort of personal risk; they need to feel safe in spite of that potential pain, in spite of that risk. This is what we call psychological safety and cohesion.

Using Psychological Safety and Cohesion To Boost Team Effectiveness

Whether one of your team members is running for city council, giving a pitch to a potential new client, or tossing out a wild idea during a brainstorm session, they will be much more likely to share themselves authentically, to look for common ground, and to be resilient in the face of challenge or disappointment if they know the team has their back. If you’re looking to power up your team’s effectiveness, foster these generative factors to increase camaraderie and mitigate these disruptive factors to reduce siloed thinking:

Generative Factors

1. 1. Welcoming Participation Structure: Teams with explicit group norms and expectations increase active participation. Team members who aren’t sure whether all opinions will be welcome or received without repercussions are much less likely to share ideas or provide constructive criticism.
   2. Interconnectedness: When team members get along and genuinely enjoy spending time together, they enjoy better collaboration, manage conflict more successfully, and are more likely to remain optimistic in the face of setbacks.
   3. Team Emotional Intelligence: Teams with high team EQ can handle difficult conversations and will seek feedback about their performance to work more effectively together.

Disruptive Factors

1. 1. Distrust: When team members distrust the intentions or integrity of other members, they are less willing to be vulnerable or courageous in their interactions, resulting in decreased energy, poor processes, and lack of cohesion.
   2. Political/Pleasing Culture: A political or pleasing culture reduces the likelihood that team members will challenge ideas, even when there are issues or problems that need to be addressed.
   3. Destructive Dynamics: Team members who undermine the ideas of others or only interact with or support certain members feed into a “clique” or an “us vs. them” mentality, making it nearly impossible to achieve collective goals.

Camaraderie, Collaboration, and Resilience

In the world of Parks and Recreation, Leslie Knope is used to winning Christmas as the superior gift-giver in Pawnee. But, when her team steps up and makes it clear that she has their support, she concedes. “This year,” she says, “my friends won. In fact, I got my ass handed to me.”

Teams that prioritize establishing a welcoming and inviting culture, creating opportunities for connection, and building team EQ can achieve camaraderie, collaboration, and resilience—much like the crew of the Pawnee parks department. As you navigate your own team dynamics, remember that success often begins with the unwavering support and unity of your team members.

Through our work with more than 26,000 teams from around the world, we’ve identified five significant factors that determine a team’s effectiveness. Today, in the first of a five-part series on teams, we take a look at the contribution mindsets make to team effectiveness.

 

 

In a recent postgame press conference, Colorado head football coach Deion Sanders voiced his frustration with the way his team performed. “Played like hot garbage,” he said. And this is after his Buffaloes defeated the Arizona State Sun Devils 27-24.

Sanders didn’t take issue with the victory but with how it was won. The Buffaloes fell behind early, committed eight penalties, and gave up five sacks in the game. The final score belies a contest that wasn’t nearly as competitive as it suggests. The Buffs only pulled out the win with the help of clutch play from quarterback Shedeur Sanders (Deion’s son) and a 43-yard field goal with 12 seconds remaining. That may make for a dramatic finish and good TV, but slow starts, sloppy play, and late-game heroics do not lend themselves to building a culture of consistency and excellence.

And excellence is what Sanders is after. After all, this is the man who gave himself the nickname “Prime Time,” reflecting both his ability and versatility as a professional athlete and his flashy and charismatic personality—on and off the field. As a standout cornerback in the NFL, Sanders became a Super Bowl champion with both the 49ers and the Cowboys, and as an MLB outfielder, he played on two World Series-winning teams with the Atlanta Braves. During his career as a player, Sanders embraced the spotlight and was known for his showmanship, confident in his talent and unafraid to shine in the biggest moments and on the biggest stages of the sports world.

Now, as “Coach Prime,” he’s brought that self-assurance and swagger to Colorado. When he joined the team, the Buffs were coming off an abysmal 2022 season in which they finished 1-11. In his first meeting with the players early this year, he signaled a shift in philosophy and a new team mindset, repeatedly telling them, “I’m coming,” meaning he was coming in to turn around the program. “There is not going to be any more mediocrity, period,” he said. “I’m coming.”

Great coaches like Sanders possess a clarity of vision and an unshakable belief that they can produce such results, and they do so by shaping the mindset of their team and inspiring that same belief in their team members. Great leaders do the same.

Defining Your Mindset

Whether you’re a college football coach, a rising business leader, or a CEO, you set the culture and tone for your team; you articulate what the team aims to accomplish; and you instill the belief that the group is capable of achieving those goals. The most effective teams have a shared understanding of who they are and what they are pursuing together. You establish the team mindset.

For the Buffaloes, Sanders laid out the team mindset in that first meeting with his players: no more mediocrity. That’s why the loss to Arizona State was so frustrating. It wasn’t frustration born of a failure to win but of a failure to be more than mediocre.

Using Mindset To Boost Team Effectiveness

The Buffs are currently in what I like to call “the messy middle.” They’re onboard with the vision of being a skilled and disciplined well-oiled machine of a college football team, but not quite executing on that vision just yet. As they work to improve, here are three generative factors they can embrace to help unify and strengthen their mindset and three disruptive factors they should avoid, lest the team fracture:

Generative Factors

1. 1. One Team, One Goal: When members are aligned with a team’s mission and vision, they create a “team identity” and pursue their goals with passion, focus, and creativity.
   2. Belief in Team Efficacy: The shared belief that a team is capable of achieving its goals provides motivation that increases both individual and collective effort and productivity.
   3. Systemic View: Viewing the team as part of a larger system or organization allows team members to focus on integrating and aligning their goals and processes.

Disruptive Factors

1. 1. Silo Mentality: When team members focus only on themselves and their own work or productivity, they’re likely to miss opportunities for collaboration and teamwork.
   2. Negative Affect: Negativity and pessimism are exhausting and drain motivation, enthusiasm, and energy from the team.
   3. Blaming Culture: Mistakes and setbacks are bound to happen, but when team members focus on “who” or “what” is to blame for them, they limit the team’s ability to learn, improve, and evolve.

A Team of Achievement

Despite the Buffs’ lackluster performance against Arizona State, the team is leaps and bounds ahead of where it was a year ago. Halfway through the season, and Colorado has a winning record (4-2) and is only two wins away from bowl eligibility. Coach Prime wasn’t kidding when he said, “I’m coming,” and the change he promised is taking hold.

Ultimately, Sanders’ journey with the Buffaloes is not just about college football; it’s a story of leadership, culture change, and the power of mindset in achieving excellence. Like all great coaches and leaders, he understands the critical role mindset plays in shaping team effectiveness. It can be the difference between building a team of potential and one of achievement.

This month, we’re exploring the importance of effective communication in leadership. In this post, we discuss how leaders can level up their listening skills—by throwing their whole bodies into it.

 

 

Ignoring the potential future benefits of knowing Spanish or French, I took four years of Latin in high school. Then, doubling down in college, I satisfied my foreign language requirement with two years of American Sign Language (ASL). Did I know any deaf or hard-of-hearing people? No. Heck, I didn’t even know anyone else who knew ASL. But something drew me to that language, and I ended up stumbling into a lesson that forever altered my perspective not only on hearing but on listening.

Sign language (American or otherwise) demands that you “listen” with your entire self. And that you “speak” the same way. Your body becomes a canvas for communication and an instrument of understanding. Where verbal communication relies on the words that you’re saying and the tone that you use to say them in order to convey information, context, and sentiment, sign language is a medium constructed through gesture and expression.

Of course, I’m simplifying things. Every verbal conversation includes nonverbal cues, just as sign language isn’t exclusively a series of hand gestures. But, as a hearing person, the lesson that to truly listen for understanding and comprehension, I needed to listen with my whole body had a profound and transformative effect on me.

In the world of sign language, listening goes beyond just “hearing” words. It’s an intricate dance of body language, expressions, posture, and gestures. Sign language requires you to pay attention, establish direct eye contact, and observe the nuanced movements of the hands. None of this “listening with half an ear” business while you check your phone. That just won’t work. Whole-body listening demands that you are present, not only in the conversation but in each moment of the conversation.

To be honest, it begs the question: Shouldn’t all communication be this way?

If our goal is to communicate with each other effectively, whether in a professional or personal capacity, shouldn’t we always be attentive? Shouldn’t every attempt to communicate be immersive?

The Art of Whole-Body Listening

Too often, when we talk about “effective communication,” we focus on how we can more effectively get across our own message. We think of “communication” as the thing we’re doing, the thing we’re saying, the thing we’re conveying. But that’s only one side of the conversation. For any communication to be genuinely effective, it must be received, understood, and accepted, so for our discussion, let’s shift the focus to the act—and art—of listening.

Listening for Understanding

Words have meaning, and that vocabulary is important, whether it’s made up of sounds or hand movements. But it’s not enough to just know the words. Whole-body listening reminds us to tune in to more than what a person is saying. Consider their demeanor and nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions, whether they’re fidgeting, and their general posture, to gain context clues and increase understanding. As we move beyond merely hearing the words, we get closer to the heart of the message.

Listening Actively

Listening is not a passive act; it’s an active and deliberate process. Active listening is how we fully engage with a speaker and demonstrate our commitment to understanding their perspective. Eliminate distractions, lean in, and make eye contact. Provide (and invite) real-time feedback by asking open-ended questions, seeking clarification, and indicating whether you understand or agree. When you show empathy and interest, you ensure a more comprehensive and meaningful exchange of ideas.

Receiving the Message

For any communication to be effective, the listener must be open to receiving it. Whole-body listening teaches us the importance of creating an environment where individuals feel seen, heard, valued, and understood. Be aware of your own biases, preconceptions, and emotional responses. Keep an open mind and avoid getting distracted by your own thoughts or judgments—or by planning what you’re going to say next. When you’re listening, focus on listening.

A Blueprint for Meaningful Conversation

Communication is most effective when both speaker (or signer) and listener play equal and essential roles. And true understanding comes when we engage our entire being in the conversation. By embracing the practice of whole-body listening, we can begin to transform the way we connect with others, whether through spoken words, sign language, or any form of communication.

As leaders, we must not only speak with intention but listen with purpose. Whole-body listening offers a blueprint for effective and meaningful conversations. It challenges us to be fully present in our interactions, to eliminate the noise and truly hear what the other person is trying to communicate. If we let it, it teaches us to listen not with just our ears but our hearts, minds, eyes, shoulders, backs, legs… you get the idea.

When we listen with our whole selves, we can bridge gaps, build relationships, and foster a more inclusive, empathetic, and understanding world.

This month, we’re exploring the importance of effective communication in leadership. Today, we take a step off the beaten path and examine side chats, those informal conversations that happen in the hallways, at the watercooler, or through instant messaging.

 

Before I started working from home, I held a position of power and influence when it came to the information superhighway that is impromptu conversation between co-workers.

My desk sat in a three-person bullpen we called the “north studio,” equidistant from the bathroom, the backdoor to our offices, and the in-office conference room, where members of the team regularly hosted colleagues from across campus. Plus, I have one of those faces that screams, “Come, tell me your problems.”

No one could pass my desk without chatting. Whether they were heading out to their cars in the parking lot or slipping in a little late after lunch, they’d linger just a bit for a few minutes of small talk over my monitor. I often wondered if they felt they owed me some sort of unofficial toll for passing through my general workspace, like a family making its way from Pittsburgh to Philly on the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

Of course, it’s not like I discouraged them. Between the festive holiday lights hanging from my desk from October to January, the team “win jar” and community magnetic poetry board in the corner, and my bone-deep need to be the go-to department know-it-all, I inadvertently made myself the hub of office side chats.

On one hand, this was great. I developed fantastic rapport with everyone from VPs and visiting board members to the guy who delivered our watercooler water. Impromptu brainstorming sessions and creative problem-solving happened on the regular. I grew into a more effective team member and became adept at anticipating challenges and obstacles as a result of hearing my co-workers’ frustrations when they vented. And the workday was frequently interspersed with conversation about the latest episode of Project Runway, the plight of the Mariners or Seahawks, or (with one team member, in particular) the existential ruminations that result from rereading Walt Whitman.

On the other hand, it’s a wonder I ever got any work done. A few minutes at my desk after a meeting was just that for the other person: a few minutes. But when you stack up several of those “few minutes,” you get an hour. Thank goodness the microwave was upstairs. As it was, if someone from the south studio perched at the foot of the steps after heating up their turkey meatloaf mini muffins, their lunch break often turned into my 30-minute distraction. Can you imagine what would have happened if every hungry person in the building had to pass my desk to reheat their leftovers?

All this changed drastically when I began remote work. And yet, much of it didn’t change at all.

Like many around the world who suddenly found themselves working from home at the beginning of the pandemic, I missed the camaraderie of in-person activity. The updates about colleagues’ kids, the Monday-morning quarterbacking about that last email campaign, the veiled eyerolls during our director’s PowerPoints. This was the glue that held us together. If the shared experience of spending eight hours a day in a handful of connected rooms wasn’t enough to bond us, the meaningful looks during meetings, whispered conversations at the copy machine, and deep dives into Leaves of Grass certainly were.

With each of us isolated at home, how would we cultivate that bond?

I needn’t have worried. Remote work, though new to me, wasn’t new, and there was already a slew of tools to keep co-workers in different locations connected. Between Slack, Zoom, texting, comments in Asana, and email, I nearly felt even more available working remotely than I had actually been working in person.

As the pandemic wore on and we all got more comfortable communicating in this manner, I noticed an unexpected shift: Side chats were happening more frequently than they ever had in the office, and I wasn’t the only one for whom a few minutes after a meeting was stacking up. With the ability to mute ourselves and go off camera during meetings and with many employees using more than one monitor in their home-office setups, it became easier and easier to hold a full-on private conversation in the midst of a conference call or tackle my to-do list during a presentation. And no one was the wiser.

Except, they were the wiser, because I wasn’t just holding one side chat during the call, I was holding several: one with my former studio mate about how hard it was going to be to implement the website changes the call was about, one with a colleague in a different department about edits to an email she needed to send, one to another co-worker lamenting how long the call was taking, and one to my boss because I kept finding Game of Thrones memes that perfectly described each person on our team.

And I was willing to bet that each person in my side chats was holding multiple side chats of their own.

Before long, I felt like my side chats about work were work, and I was no longer responsible only for the projects in my portfolio, but for maintaining dozens of threads, commentaries, and ongoing conversations—some related to work and some not. My distractions increased. My interruptions increased. My stress increased. What was meant to mimic the spontaneous, fun, and constructive ways of staying connected had become a car wreck of communicating.

Making Side Chats Work

Whether you manage a handful of people, oversee a division, or are the CEO of a large organization, you have to learn how to navigate the intricate web of conversations happening within your team. Leaders acknowledge that side chats are a natural, effective, and (mostly) healthy means of communicating; good leaders ensure that they contribute positively to team dynamics and team members’ well-being and productivity. The path to making side chats work involves a few key strategies:

Encourage openness and inclusivity.

By their very nature, side chats are exclusive and run the risk of inadvertently creating cliques or inspiring FOMO. Combat this by having an open-door policy. Encourage team members to voice their thoughts and join the conversation—in person or online. Invite questions and embrace respectful dissent and debate. Make it clear that you value diverse perspectives and want to hear from everyone.

Set clear boundaries and expectations.

Open communication is vital, but they’re called “side” chats for a reason. Work with your team to establish guidelines for using messaging platforms and collaboration tools. Define the purpose for each channel, such as using Slack or Teams for brainstorming and more formal channels, like email or meetings, for sharing information and decision-making. Lay down some ground rules around basic messaging etiquette in shared spaces, like limiting the use of profanity and avoiding video cold calls.

Cultivate a culture of respect.

Respect is the cornerstone of healthy side chats. Of all effective communication, really. Remind your team of the importance of respectful communication and common courtesy, whether in person or digitally. Encourage active listening and empathy, and make the effort to ensure that everyone feels heard and valued.

Lead by example.

Your behavior as a leader sets the tone for your team. When you participate in side chats, you demonstrate their value and model their effectiveness. Reenforce your open-door policy and meet your team members where they are. And don’t be afraid to share your personality. Allowing your team to see a more casual, playful side and get to know you will inspire confidence and build trust.

Opt out when needed.

It’s OK to be unavailable sometimes. The proliferation of ways we have created to ensure our availability at any given moment can feel overwhelming. Remember—and remind your team—that you don’t have to respond to everything everywhere right away. Utilize features such as “Do Not Disturb” to help limit distractions when you need to focus. Remove yourself from channels or threads when they’re no longer relevant to prevent information overload.

Review, revise, and adjust.

Team dynamics evolve over time, and what works today might not work tomorrow. Check in with your team and regularly review how side chats are impacting members’ relationships, productivity, and well-being. Be willing to adjust your approach as needed and be open to suggestions. Solicit feedback to ensure that everyone’s needs are being met.

Conclusion

In the end, side chats, whether in the office or during remote work, are a testament to the human need for connection and collaboration. At their best, they’re where creativity sparks, friendships flourish, and ideas become solutions. At their worst, they’re a twisted, labyrinthine network of distractions and negativity.

As leaders, our role is to guide our teams in making the most of side chats while mitigating their potential pitfalls. With the right balance, we can create an environment of informal collaboration and camaraderie that strengthens workplace bonds and sets our teams on the path to success.

Exploring the impact of women leaders and the need for integrated leadership in the health care industry and beyond through our partnership with nonprofit foundation Unlocking Eve

 

The need for great leadership is urgent, and when lives hang in the balance, it becomes even more critical. Right now, women are the backbone of the health care industry—making up 70% of the workforce—yet they hold only a quarter of the industry’s senior-level leadership positions. This imbalance has far-reaching consequences. The World Health Organization (WHO) rightly asserted in 2019 that marginalizing women from decision-making leads to worse health outcomes for everyone.

We saw this in real time during the COVID-19 pandemic. Countries with female leaders had fewer deaths and were more effective at flattening the pandemic’s curve than countries with male leaders. And leaders who relied on agentic qualities, or those traditionally seen as “masculine,” had even worse health outcomes. The U.S., for example, had nearly six times as many confirmed COVID-19 cases as any other country and the largest number of deaths in the world.

If current trends continue, we’re not only looking at a dearth of women at the top in health care, but a dearth of women workers, period. A million women have left the U.S. workforce since the start of the Great Resignation, already contributing to what the World Economic Forum predicts will be a global health care worker shortage of 15 million by 2030.

What does the absence of women in senior leadership and decision-making roles mean for society, in general, and health care, in particular? Broadly speaking, it signals an over-reliance on traditionally masculine, task-focused leadership, characterized by qualities such as competition, achievement, and assertiveness. The problem is that the increasing complexity and uncertainty of the modern workplace requires a different skill set, one that favors people-focused leadership and characteristics such as shared decision-making, communication, and empathy.

In other words, the way things are is no longer working. It’s time for a change.

Transforming Health Care Leadership

Enter Eva McLellan and Kaye Vitug, health care executives and co-founders of Unlocking Eve, a nonprofit foundation dedicated to finding, developing, and empowering leaders with the qualities necessary to create a more balanced and healthier world. “We all feel it,” say Eva and Kaye. “Something is out of balance in our organizations, our communities, our world.”

Though traditionally feminine leadership qualities, such as collaboration and open communication, may go a long way toward addressing the challenges faced by the modern workforce, the solution is not simply to replace the current paradigm, which leans into traditionally masculine characteristics, with a new one that leans into those traditionally feminine ones. The key is to identify qualities shared by the most effective leaders—regardless of gender—and integrate them into a new model for leadership effectiveness.

What’s interesting is that, in our work, we’ve found that women more often embody this integrated model. So, increasing opportunities for women leaders becomes a practical application of the idea that a rising tide lifts all boats.

Through the shared purpose of turning this insight into action, Eva and Kaye created Unlocking Eve with two primary goals in mind:

1. 1. to accelerate the advancement of women into leadership positions in health care by 50%, and
   2. to advance a new profile of integrated leadership excellence for leaders in all areas of business and society.

Knowing that to achieve these goals, they would need the data and tools necessary to inspire change, it was a natural fit for the pair to team up with us at Leadership Circle. We provide access to the largest leadership effectiveness database on the planet and offer insights and analysis from our work with leaders in health care and beyond. Unlocking Eve moves the needle through immersive experiences, primary and secondary research, and high-impact awareness campaigns. The result is a partnership that strengthens both of our missions.

“We can’t do this alone,” say Eva and Kaye. “We’re proud to take this journey alongside individuals and organizations like Leadership Circle, who share our passion and purpose.”

Engaging the World’s Top Leaders

When you’re trying to make the case that a new model of integrated leadership is the key to unlocking a universally more effective way to lead, there are few better places in the world to do it than at the United Nations.

And that’s precisely what Eva and Kaye will be doing next week in New York City, during the 78th session of the UN General Assembly. They’ll take part in special events and present their findings—based on our research—to world leaders from public, private, and government organizations focused on health equity, entrepreneurship, and women in health care.

Ahead of the events of the UNGA, Unlocking Eve and Leadership Circle have jointly published a white paper, “Integrated Leadership: The Pathway to Transforming Healthcare and Healing the World,” to introduce this new paradigm of leadership for the 21st century. This is the first in a series we look forward to producing as part of our strategic collaboration as we work together to transform health care leadership and heal the world.

We’re taking a closer look at just how important effective communication is to effective leadership. In this post, we explore ways to gracefully say “no”—and how that may be the most important communication tool you can learn.

 

Stop me if this sounds familiar… It’s a little after 9 p.m., and the kids are finally in bed. Baths are done, story time is over. The oldest is surreptitiously reading just one more, just one more, just one more chapter under the covers, and you ignore the faint light peeking out from under their bedroom door. The couch is calling, along with a few episodes of The Bear, a cold beer, and your favorite person in the world. Time to settle in and relax for a couple of hours before sleep and the madness of a new day.

And then your phone chimes. It’s your boss, asking you to “take a peek” at the email she just sent you before tomorrow’s 8 a.m. meeting and prepare a few slides for the presentation.

And you just can’t say no.

No matter how much you may thrive on being your team’s go-to person, no matter how much saying “yes” may win you points with the boss, and no matter how important a task or project feels in the moment, there comes a time when, for your health or sanity (or both)—and for that of your organization—you must say “no.”

What Saying “No” Says “Yes” To

“No” doesn’t have to be negative. In fact, it’s often liberating. By saying “no” to one thing, you’re able to say “yes” to something else, and those “yeses” can create a more balanced, efficient, and fulfilling work life. Here are a few big gains by saying “no”:

Focus and Prioritization

Every “yes” comes with a commitment of time, energy, and resources. When you say “no” to less important or distracting requests, you make yourself available for what truly matters. Often, this leads to allocating resources more efficiently and working toward your strategic goals with greater clarity and purpose. Saying “no” allows leaders to maintain a razor-sharp focus on their priorities.

Healthy Boundaries

In the juggling act that is leadership, boundaries are essential if you have any hope of not dropping the ball. Saying “no” when necessary is an act of self-care and helps you protect your physical and mental well-being, ensuring that you have the energy and resilience needed to lead effectively.

Trust and Accountability

Effective leaders are skilled decision-makers. When you say “no” to certain opportunities or requests, you’re making a conscious choice to focus your attention elsewhere—and staying true to your priorities signals your commitment to them. As a result, your team is more likely to respect your judgment, trust your leadership, and know you have their back when they need to say “no.”

How To Say “No” Gracefully

How many times have you heard that it’s not so much what you say but how you say it? “No” is a perfect example. There’s a big difference between someone shouting at you, red-faced and spitting expletives, “ARE YOU CRAZY?! I DON’T HAVE TIME TO DO THAT! WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU THINK THAT I CAN TAKE ON THIS PROJECT?!” and someone speaking calmly, in a quiet, apologetic tone, “I’m sorry, I just don’t think I can accommodate that request right now. My time is committed elsewhere. Can we revisit this when I have an opening in my schedule later this month?”

I know which person I’d rather work with.

Remember these tips to make your next “no” a graceful one:

1. Be nice. You can’t go wrong by being polite. Express your appreciation for being asked or considered, even if you ultimately need to say “no.”
2. Be positive. Avoid sounding defensive or confrontational. Keep the conversation friendly.
3. Be sorry. A little empathy can go a long way. Letting someone know that you genuinely regret having to decline their request shows you understand how important that request is to them.
4. Be honest. Your reasons for saying “no” are enough. Clearly explain why you’re declining the request, but avoid over-explaining, which can lead to misunderstandings.
5. Be helpful. Just because you say “no”—or “no for now”—doesn’t mean everyone else will. Offer alternatives or compromises, or collaborate to find a new solution.

Examples:

“I appreciate you thinking of me for this project, but my current workload won’t allow me to commit the time and attention it deserves. I can recommend others on the team who may be able to assist you.”

“I’m flattered that you asked me, but I have a prior commitment that will require my full attention during this time frame. Can we revisit this in the future?”

“Thanks for inviting me to participate. Unfortunately, I’m working on a critical project at the moment and am unable to start anything new until it’s finished. If I can be of assistance down the road, please let me know.”

“I understand how import this request is, but given my current workload, I won’t be able to meet your deadline. Is there a way we can adjust the timeline or explore other options?”

Say It With Me

“No” has many variations, and we could all use a little more practice saying it. For effective leaders, saying “no” isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a superpower. It enables you to focus on your priorities, set and maintain healthy boundaries, and build trust among your team and within your organization. By learning when and how to say “no,” you strengthen your personal and professional relationships and improve your overall performance at work, taking the reins of your leadership journey.

When it comes to celebrating women leaders, the new Barbie movie is a Malibu dream. It’s fitting, given the iconic doll has conquered every career from being an astronaut to a dentist. But if the doll taught us that women could pursue any profession, the film teaches us that we need more women in Hollywood. Barbie continues to smash new records every day, and while fans around the globe are lining up outside movie theaters dressed head-to-toe in pink, producers are sitting in their drab offices, insisting that women-led films are still a financial risk.

We were raised believing that Barbie can do anything—even, dare I say it, write and direct a blockbuster film—but the reality in Hollywood is far from that empowering narrative. We see very few women taking the lead in the film industry. In 2021, only 13.7% of the films released by studios and mini-major companies were directed by women. Only three women have won the Academy Award for Best Director. Across 1,200 top-grossing films from 2007 to 2018, only 4.3% of directors were women.

By not investing equitably in women in leadership, Hollywood could be self-destructing. In 2023, for the first time in history, 10% of Fortune 500 companies will have a woman at the helm. It’s making those businesses better. To identify ways in which women in leadership are transforming their industries, Leadership Circle gathered research from 300 senior leaders from 237 companies in 29 industries and six countries. The results, outlined in “Understanding the Differences in Reactive and Creative Orientations Between Female and Male Leaders,” found that female-identifying leaders are more likely to hold the creative competencies that engender effective leadership, with a sense of purpose and a greater level of sustainable leadership performance.

Ignoring women directors isn’t just a financial mistake for the industry, it might be one of the worst creative mistakes in Tinseltown history. The gender disparity in Hollywood reflects the content of the movies we watch. In 1975, the feminist film theorist Laura Berger coined the term “male gaze” to describe what happens when you see art, popular culture and film through the lens of just one gender. “In a world ordered by sexual imbalance, pleasure in looking has been split between active/male and passive/female,” Berger wrote. “The determining male gaze projects its fantasy onto the female form, which is styled accordingly.”

Without diverse perspectives and women behind the camera, the male gaze dominates storytelling, reinforcing gender stereotypes and limiting the portrayal of women’s experiences. Breaking away from this pattern, when women lead Hollywood projects, they open up a new avenue for better representation, on and off the silver screen. On films with men directors only, women comprised 12% of writers. That number jumps to 53% on movies with at least one woman director. The glaring disparity shows that increasing the number of women directors not only improves gender representation behind the camera but also fosters more inclusive storytelling on screen.

Movies made by women, starring women, and catering to women audiences have consistently proven to be audience favorites and financially successful. In fact, films with female leads consistently outperform male-led ones in worldwide box office averages. Barbie raked in a whopping $155 million on its first weekend, earning it the crown for the biggest film opening of 2023. People want new stories. Hollywood needs new storytellers.

So why hasn’t Hollywood invested in women? It’s not for a lack of talented women in the industry. But Hollywood has long been a male-dominated universe where Kens in power bring in more Kens to power. We see this phenomenon in many industries; people hire individuals who resemble themselves, perpetuating a cycle of male directors predominantly hiring other men.

Then the lack of female role models further complicates things, making it difficult for women to envision themselves as directors. As a result, many women have only recently begun to realize that directing is even an option for them. Representation matters.

And just like in other men-led industries, stereotypes about women’s skills and ambition are a powerful barrier to entry. Men tend to secure more funding, as investing in women filmmakers is still perceived as riskier compared to their male counterparts. Greta Gerwig had to give us multiple successful films with strict budgets before being handed the keys to steer Barbie. Lady Bird cost $10 million but yielded $79 million. She made Little Women with just $40 million but it brought $206 million at the box office. Despite all the ways Gerwig and many others had to prove themselves, betting on women filmmakers is still considered a risk.

The advantages of hiring more women as directors extend beyond the financial success and filmmaking process. It has the potential to foster a positive culture on sets, addressing the prevalent issues of sexual assault and harassment that have plagued the entertainment industry. Hiring more women directors shifts the power dynamic on set, leading to a healthier and safer environment for everyone involved, regardless of their gender identity.

Ultimately, the solution lies in making sustainable cultural changes, achieved through strategic interventions at multiple levels. Encouraging studios to invest in first-time women directors, providing women with more leadership opportunities from the start, and holding the industry accountable for making changes can collectively pave the way for increased representation of women’s talent on movie sets.

The success of Barbie under Greta Gerwig’s direction is an example of the transformative power women can bring to filmmaking—and leadership roles in every industry. The overwhelmingly positive reception proves an appetite for stories that embrace and empower women and challenge traditional narrative conventions. Barbie isn’t just a plastic icon brought to life. She’s a beacon of reflection and inspiration, carrying tales that strike a chord with women and reminds us that living outside the male gaze is possible—and not just in Barbieland.